Raising Saints & Martyrs

I'm not going to lie here...at the beginning of the year I had this all figured out. I had my schedule set for Bear and Boo, I knew the daily routine, I knew the sports schedules, and I for sure was not going to waiver.



How, then, did we wind up here? Bear is constantly fighting me on school work while Boo just trots on by like it's the easiest thing ever. I was frustrated and at the end of my rope. I was watching as one child was falling behind because I was so determined to follow my schedule that I made. The same schedule I made without bothering to work with and consult the two people who knew best what they need: my daughters! Duh!

This week I swallowed my pride and did what I needed. I decided the best way to give my children what they needed was to talk to them. I had fallen into exactly what I do not want to be. The parent that says do the work and keep up {as a teacher, that is what I am told to do, as a mother, I know better}.

How was I able to gain control in just a week? Easy...look...

1. {ok, it was more like two weeks because I needed to plan for a week}...I followed my regular lesson plans for a week

2. During that same week, I began to just ease off and see where exactly the issue was. It really didn't take long.

3. I wrote everything down {by the way, I started the year with a time-block schedule, then swapped to a list schedule right away as both girls preferred it}. I noted what work was not getting finished, or how long each assignment was taking.

4. I read my notes and this is what I saw:
*Boo: Finished all work fast, correctly, and even early.
*Bear: Math was great, she is excelling, Latin...same, Geography is where she slows, she is bored with it. Science was going well as long as I was reading the book to her, same with History. Finally we have Language Arts...this is a disaster. Not one day resulted in finished work. She could only finish if we were doing it all verbally **ding!!

5. I called the doctor! Yes, you read that right. Now, I am not all about labels, but I am a divorced mother, so I need my bases covered. Her doctor and the specialist agree: learning disability {ps...I despise that term. These children are not incapable of learning, they just do it differently!!!} Appropriate appointments made, and school work will be done 50/50 verbally and on her own {because if we are being real...college}.

6. I regrouped: I pulled out my notebook, called the girls in and got to work!

7. The real work: I sat with each child and talked about how she learned and how she liked to break her day up. Boo really does do well with a list, so she still gets her daily task list to check off each day. Bear has a time-block schedule now. Technically both girls do, just in case Boo isn't feeling it that day, she has a time-block to get her through.

8. I went through and printed up worksheets for all missing assignments! Every. Last. One. I then filed those in a file with each child's name and class. If there is missing work it will be there. The child can go in and look when she has extra time and finish the work! I tend to have Friday as quiz day, so this is perfect for Fridays!

9. I picked up additional small unit studies for Boo. When she has nothing left, she can do some of that work. She loves ancient Greece right now, so I got two on that for her.

10. I took a hard look at curriculum because Bear was unhappy with Language Arts and was getting frustrated with the amount of time she was doing Math. For Language Arts, I got rid of a couple items, small books and stupid sentence stuff, and we no longer diagram. For Math I added Life of Fred, which we all LOVE. I am slowly beginning to rethink Mystery of History. While I absolutely love it, I am not sure either of my daughters likes the chronology. Plus, in Volume II there is a lot of anti-catholic view, which I can deal with because it forces me to teach my children the view of the Church, but I worry that I might miss something one day, What do you think? Is there a History curriculum you love?

New schedules for my girls:

In my home we keep Christ in Christmas. I choose not to include Santa in our home traditions. It isn't that I am a hater of Santa, but I don't see the need to lie to my children about a character that really has nothing to do with the actual meaning of Christmas. I get a lot of backlash about not doing Santa in my home...here are some of the responses and my response to them {in case you're considering firing Santa as well}.



You're ruining Christmas - Considering the holiday is about the birth of Jesus Christ, I do not feel I am ruining anything for anyone.

You're depriving them of their childhood - Ok, I don't even give a response here because this is asinine. Really? Jewish, Muslim, and Jehovah's Witnesses everywhere just cringed. How sad does a child's life need to be when Santa is what defines their childhood? My goodness people.

Your children will ruin it for everyone else's children - Again...Jewish, Muslim...not all religions, or even non-religious people believe in Santa. How exactly does my child single-handedly have the power to ruin the secret you hold so dear, but no one else does? You know Santa is pretend, how is that so different?

You're ruining the spirit of the holiday - *Ahem* Please excuse me while I adjust my nativity...

So...what traditions do we have? Well, while I do not have Santa {please note...he is in the decor, and we do have Santa dolls, we just don't participate in believing he is real}, I do have several other ways to enjoy the entire season. Here is a list of seven of them:

Our Christmas traditions:

• Feast of St. Nicholas - On the Feast of St. Nicholas we prepare a nice meal and set up our stockings and stocking holder for small gifts for the family. Nothing big, all really small gifts, but fun nonetheless. Everyone gets small stocking stuffers and snacks.
• Christmas Eve - Feast of the seven fishes. We are an Italian family, so we celebrate Christmas Eve as a fasting day {meaning no meat}. The fest of the seven fishes is my favorite meal of the entire year. *Just a side note, this is an Italian-American thing, but my great grandparents who came from Italy even celebrated* While an Italian-American cultural event, those in Italy do fast on Christmas Eve, just more informally than this. We open one family gift after dinner (an event of some sort that changes each year).
• Christmas Day - Mass, before all else. The children each get one gift. No more, no less. We received one gift this day 2,000 years ago, and I maintain that tradition.
• Epiphany - Three gifts are given to each child. One practical, one fun, and one wild card gift. This year, wild card gifts are handmade for each child. Customized to her/his own personality.
• Nativity - I cannot stress enough how much my children love the nativity scene. We do not place Christ in the scene until Christmas morning. After Christ is born, the Wise Men make their journey to meet Christ, getting a little closer each day until Epiphany arrives. I also have a fun play nativity the toddlers can touch, play, and learn with.
• Christmas lights - Most families enjoy this activity...we go get coffees and hot chocolate and head out to look at the Christmas light spectaculars in our area. This is a fun outing and kind of a big deal. My children and I are able to enjoy each other's company so much.
• Ornament exchange - I allow my daughters to hold an ornament exchange with friends. Dirty Santa style! They love this and it gives them the chance to bond with friends as well, plus learn to be gracious hosts.

When my life fell to shambles a few years back {ok, in retrospect it was the best gift God ever gave me, a way out, safety} I decided to overhaul the holidays. I have hated the holiday season since I had kids. I hate Christmas shopping, I don't get all into decorating, I don't love it. Like, at all. Well it hit me when my kids and I were on our own that the reason I hated it was because Christmas had become a thing of materialism in our home. I knew what I needed to do;

Bring Advent home! So. Darn. Simple.

But how? How do you bring Advent back into your home?

Start by heading to your church. Head in and pray. Pray hard. Talk to God, listen to God, and ask Him what he wants for your family. What does Advent mean exactly? It is the preparation for the coming of Christ. It begins the 4th Sunday prior to Christmas and ends December 24th; it is our time to prepare for the arrival of our Savior. And prepare we shall!




Here are 5 ways to prepare during Advent:


1. Go to Mass, maybe even a few on weekdays! January 1st is not the time for this resolution! It is now! Prepare before the arrival, not after.

2. Pray a rosary daily. Remember, it was Mary's "yes" that allowed this season to commence.

3. Repent, I feel any major feast or holiday {Christmas and Easter} should be prepared for with repentance. Be sorry for your sins, try to change them for Christ. Do real penance and confession.

4. Daily readings. You can downlaod the Laudate app to your phone and use it to get the daily reading. Read them daily, pray about them, ask God to be with you while you read.

5. Sacrifice, even if it is only your time. Perhaps you can volunteer somewhere so others can go home for the day, or buy extra groceries and make smaller, individual meals...when you pass someone who is homeless, give them a meal!



5 fun Advent traditions to start:


1. Advent wreath - duh. You can have one that you pull out year after year, or you can make a new, fresh one every year. And if you don't like the everyday wreaths you can make a modern version of Advent candle holders. The possibilities really are endless.

2. Jesse tree - Honestly, I had never heard of this until a few days ago. I think it is genius! I love this so much. It is the story of the ancestry of Christ in a way your small children will understand. I will be adding this to my own home next season for sure!

3. Advent calendar - Each of my children has one, and no I do not mean the kind filled with a candy each day. Ours are filled with age-appropriate Advent preparation. Some are activities, some are readings, some are even sacrifices, but all are there to help the children prepare for Christ in the best way possible.

4. Nativity Scenes - Add a nativity to your home. Handmade, store bought, kid friendly, whatever...the point is to remind your children what the season is really about. 

5. Celebrate feast days - Gather a list of feast days and how to celebrate them. Go to Mass that day, and celebrate the feast day. This a great way to really get involved in the season.

Healthy living, clean eating, natural lifestyle...

All of these are very common today, especially with ADD, ADHD, Diabetes, Autism, and other various health issues on the rise. Because we homeschool, and we are together so much, I have a little more control over what my children eat. No unhealthy school lunches or vending machine meals.

Starting this week I am re-overhauling our food intake:

NO high fructose corn syrup allowed...
YES fresh fruits and veggies galore
SOME meat...fish and chicken mostly
We are LIMITING carbs, but not so much the amount, more like the kind. I am using whole grain only

WATER, WATER, and more WATER

This is all, of course, in addition to multivitamins and smoothies we normally drink. 

It is important to note, most medical professionals will tell you that a great many of the issues we have today with the health of our children can be helped a lot with a more controlled diet. Bear's anxiety dropped a great deal, while not totally because of, but at least in part due to a change in diet. 

I also have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), and more vegetarian diet helps immensely. I have less mood swings, and less pain. No secret fad diets, no special pills or drinks, just vitamins (I use Melaleuca) and healthy eating. 

This week I am following a one week clean eating routine. Basically I have a menu laid out, ready for the week (we usually do anyway) and I am starting with five days. Then I will add more as I go. I will build a habit again...

Who wants to join in?

Hop on over Tuesday morning for a list of recipes, and feel free to join in and follow along!

As we slowly progress back into the groove of school, we get more organized for the year. I am organizing the girls with 3 inch binders, and myself with a 3 inch binder and some smaller 1.5 inch binders as well. We have the house organized for homeschool as well. When we moved in I bought a china cabinet, we use it for school books and crafty stuff at the moment. Here is a quick look into how we will be organized for the year.

Kids

Each girl has a notebook for a reading log, and will be given prompts for book reports, journaling, and reading logs. In each notebook she has three reading logs, once she reaches a goal she will get a pizza dinner with Mom.

Each girl has a 3 inch binder. Each of these binders will have the following tabs for classes:

Language Arts
     Vocab/Spelling
     Grammar/Writing
     Literature {Boo}

History
     Each week/unit has a sub-tab for work

Science
     Each chapter will have a sub-section for work
     Field trips

Geography
     Sub-sections as needed {we have never worked with this, so this will be a work in progress}

Math
     Basic notes
     Laminated speed tests

Religion
{I have not yet found a curriculum I love though}

Language
{Second semester we will be adding a language!}


Mommy

I have 1.5 inch binders for each girl. These will be used as daily attendance reports, test storage, and final book reports. Sections:

Laminated school year calendar
List of subjects and corresponding books {for Dad's house}
Copies of weekly lesson plans for each child
     Kind of like this, but for a whole week because they need it for Dad's place
Pre-printed copywork and pages as need for Dad's place
Copies of current grades for Dad
Laminated copy of all websites and current passwords

I also use {for my own personal use and planning} the Well Planned Day planner.

33 Days. That's all it takes.

I enjoy my rosary. So much so that I have several, and intend to make more. I am becoming increasingly interested in the different types of rosaries available to pray on. I want my own children to have an interest in revering the Holy Mother. I want them to look at her as I do and see a woman that God saw fit to not only bear, but raise His Holy Son. I am in amazement that such a person has ever even lived.

I want to be like her. I want to have her grace. I want to feel her love.

I want the same for my own children. I want them to know this level of grace exists.

I am rereading 33 Days to Morning Glory. I also found a podcast I plan to use as well this time around.

Join me for the next 33 days. Consecrate yourself to Mary.
Join me and make this a retreat for your own homeschooled children.

I will leave you with how I taught my children to recite the Hail Mary with meaning:

Hail Mary, full of grace 
The Lord is with thee

God filled Mary with grace. She loved him. She followed God at any cost.
God is with Mary during her pregnancy, experiencing every moment she experienced.

Blessed art thou amongst women,
Blessed is thy fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

God blessed Mary with a child. God gave her himself.
Jesus grew within her to become man, like us.

Holy Mary, mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our death.

Even God sees Mary as the Holy Queen. He sees her as his mother.
Mary prays for us daily. She answers our prayers as she sees fit. 
Mary prays for the sinners. She pulls you in and loves you to redemption.

Amen

   
     I am in a book club at church, well rather through my moms' group. We read a book a month throughout the school year. I get a lot of great books to read, and even some amazing ideas for books to read in the summer. I thought it might be fun to tell you what I am reading, and what I am getting out of it.
     Right now I am reading Everybody Needs to Forgive Somebody by Allen Hunt. We read it last month for book club, but since I had my children that night I did not bother reading it. Plus, I put it off because I know I have someone to forgive. Well, it was a great book. I was caught up immediately, from the moment he began discussing Jesus and his forgiveness of those who crucified him.
     Well, crap. How could I not finish it. How could I not try to forgive the man who hurt me to my core. Fine. I read the book, I loved the book, and I began to try to forgive. I couldn't. It was not even a remote possibility. I harbor ill feelings, sure, but I am not angry. I do not feel I need to forgive him. I sat down and assessed who needed the forgiveness.
     I began questioning myself and those around me. I didn't blame him for leaving me because I left him. I didn't blame him for cheating because...well, okay, I blame him, but I am not angry it happened anymore. When I think back to why I am so damned angry I think about the following:

I left, I was relieved he cheated because it meant I could finally leave.
He hurt my children and I was horrified that I let him.
My daughters were "used to it." Perfect, I couldn't even protect them against words.
I was relieved a marriage of 10 years was not valid in the eyes of the church.

Double crap. I wasn't mad at him. I don't care enough about him to harbor feelings that require me to forgive him. The way I see him and his mistress: It is their issue to take before God, not mine. They are not sorry. And, I could not care much less. I am happy. I am mad at ME. Wonderful. Because we all know self loathing and resentment are so easily healed, right? Well, this was what I needed because now I am in that place. The place where I get to heal from the wounds I caused myself. I no longer blame myself, but I still have not fully forgiven myself either. It is a day by day prayer process.

We all have someone to forgive. I challenge everyone to find who they need to forgive. Ask yourself the questions I did:

Who do I blame?
Who do I no longer trust that I need to trust (of course I no longer trust my former spouse, but that is not an issue because I do not need him in day to day dealings)?
Who do I want fully in my life, but push away?

Pray daily on your journey.

I am a mother of girls. I have three of them, I am used to them, there are no mysteries about girls, only facts and eggshell walking. I am a girl. I know how we think, what we want, how we work.

What I do not know is boy. Anything boy.

An amazing thing happened last night; Boo laid next to me in bed while I was reading 33 Days to Morning Glory and asked if she could do the retreat with me.

Mind. Blown.
She is 12...well, this month she will be 12.

It was at that moment that I realized what a wonderful life God has given me recently. I have three amazing daughters and the son I wanted so badly. All four of my children are relatively healthy, not counting the Epilepsy issue. They are all very intelligent children, and very well adjusted. I am lucky enough to be able to work from home while I attend school, all while I homeschool Boo and Bear. From the depths of my heart, I am grateful. I love my life as it is now, and I have God to thank for that.

Personal accountability..

Sometimes I wonder if I have any at all, then I remember I have four children. Of course I have personal accountability, how could I not? I started this month with my date book all set for the month as usual. At the front of the month, in bold letters was "NO EXCUSES."

Ok. Sure. Not. I am half way through this month with nothing to show for it; I am ok with that. I am a mother first. So far this month, my household has has had some bumps. Homeschool is killing me, but it is worth the suffering. Bear loves doesn't totally hate it. She already jumped to the next grade level in math! I am thrilled for her. Boo injured herself a few times in sports. She is a rock star though and she just gets right back up.